Why Permaculture is Permaclutch

Permanent Culture Now

Boring Words

Words are funny things.  They can say so much, just by looking at them.  The word education sounds and looks boring until you put "sex" in front of it (or something of your particular interest).  Casserole...meh. That is, until you’re nose deep in a savory, melty-cheese, meat laden mishmash dish that took only moments to whip together.  

Permaculture sounds and looks like the pinnacle of loaded and boring.  It’s not some dazzling word that gives you a twitch in your clicking finger.  But I think if we all just got past the word itself, most people might actually tune in.  So instead of calling it permaculture, we’re going to call it Permaclutch today:

1. Perma:

A prefix that works with pretty much any word one would like to emphasize the permanent-ness of.

ex. Sheez B...I got so trashed last night - I slipped and took a mean digger. My back is killin' now, B! Pretty sure it's perma-jacked up

2. Clutch: 

Great, Essential, and Potent rolled into a single word. Conveniently awesome. Clutch is also used to describe something that is done, not something that is.

ex. Stealing your orange soda was so clutch. 

(courtesy of Urbandictionary.com)

Therefore:

Permaclutch: Something done that is permanently and conveniently awesome.

Why is Permaclutch so "clutch" anyway?  

A Good Day's Harvest

Let start out with the fact that Permaclutch starts with ETHICS!  Wait, isn't that weird? Aren't we just talking about gardening?

Yes we are, and this is why it's unique.  Here's Permaclutch's ethics:

-Earth care
-People care
-Return of surplus

IMAGINE  if other "gardening" techniques had such ethics!  GMOs WOULD NOT exist.  Like - break those down for a moment.  That's not just some hippie mumbo jumbo.  You have a responsibility as a grower in permaculture, to be sure that you are adhering to the three said ethics.  You must intentionally think of the harm that could be done to the earth or people before you do anything! And when things are growing in surplus, you must return it, either sharing with the people around you, or put it back into the compost bin to close the cycle.  Hows that for accountability?  Guys, ethics in gardening?  It's a thing.  In permaclutch.  Don't be a hater.  This is actually cool.  Keep reading.

Free Food

Maybe it’s just me, but I love free, fresh avocados.  Papayas.  Kabocha squash…  Anything that grows.  Abundant, flavorful, good for me…and free (key word “free.” I think the millennials and socialists could get into this too).  I also don’t like a lot of maintenance.  If I don’t have to brush my hair, put on make-up or shave my legs, I usually won’t.  If a dishwasher will wash the dishes, I won’t.  If I have a plant producing fruit for me to pick in my backyard, I won’t go to the grocery store to get it instead.   Ease of efficiency, you know?  

Now to get low maintenance, there’s an initial downpayment (buy the dishwasher, pay a hair stylist, plant a seed)… you can’t expect to do absolutely nothing and get something.  BUT what if the up front investment turned into a consistent cash flow? Or should I say *food * flow.    

One word guys: Permaclutch.  Your deepest efficiency needs and desires for "free food" can be met.  Recipe calls for basil...don't want to run to the grocery store for four sprigs of basil that cost $3.50?  Don't have to! Just walk outside.  If you take one thing with you from this, let it be that Permaclutch = Free Food.

The Mama Bear

Most people I know, including myself, have had some serious garden woes.  We hop onto the “grow your own groceries” bus, fresh out of the institution,  and ready for adventure but we don't know anything.  We jump in feet first & slip on the first stair and it’s all a bloody disaster.  Everything dies, tomatoes catch disease, squash gets implanted with fruit fly larvae & our efforts wither into hades.  That’s how I’ve felt anyway.

But suddenly: (ta da!) Permaclutch.

Great.  Another flipping way to grow your vegetables.  Hydroponics, aquaponics, agroforestry, sustainable agriculture, vertical gardening, hugelkultur, raised beds, chinampas! …all these hot words that are supposed to light your flame of produce passion.  

Chinampas!  

I mean, yes, those are all great words, but here’s the difference.  All of those outline one way to garden.  Aquaponics is great…but it’s limiting.  Organic gardening has it’s pros, but there are certain pesticides that are still used that are questionable, therefore, limiting.  I hate being limited!  

Hugelkultur

Permaclutch is different because it takes all of the clean gardening techniques (clean meaning pesticide-free) and is a big inclusive mama bear of a method.  Use them all within the system.  Mix and match your methods, intermingle...go crazy.  But don't forget your ethics.  You have to think (kind of a lot) before you go spreading your seed around (practical advice in at least one other situation I can think of).  

What I really mean is that maybe your garden herb spiral should be right by your kitchen door (pretty, practical & convenient)!  Veggies & greens - nearby for picking & tending.  Fruit trees get to live a little farther away, because you don't access them as frequently. We call this zoning. Need a better watering system?  Put a bird swale on it.  Conserve moisture?  MULCH it (see "I Love You So Mulch" for more on that).  You see, there is a system to the maddness.  It is actually creating a natural ecosystem that mimics nature.  The goal is that the created ecosystem will support itself entirely in 5-6 years.

(Um...that's AWESOME, remember the part about your downpayment paying off?  For lots of free food?).  

One man at the start of his permaclutch legacy

Things that seems so obvious, yet we don't know or never think of on our own.  There is a lot more where that came from.  It’s the EPITOMY of what food production can and should be (and I’ll tell you this, will save the world far faster than any of it’s G-MO foes).  

Problem is, it starts with the individual.  It can only start from the bottom.  Big ag has no chance in permaclutch.  Permaclutch is about YOU and ME growing fresh, easily acquired food, trading with your permie neighbors and growing a community of abundance.  Over abundance in all aspects, really.  It’s kind of a big topic to tackle, but fortunately it is much more tackle-able than your home depot 10x10 failed garden plot built in dead bagged dirt.

So What Now?

What if?

It is up to you.  Fail at growing tomatoes for the last time until you renounce growing, declare a black thumb and succumb to buying pesticide laden food.  Depend on a system of sham & big money to feed your children.  If S*#& hits the fan and the trucks and boats stop coming, get ready to swap your kidney for your next dinner.  

-OR-

That's Better.

Look into permaculture and save the world starting in your own backyard (or front yard, or balcony, or roof, or acreage, whatever).  Quite literally.  The melange of ways to garden naturally that actually do work all rolled into one big package is a truly beautiful world to discover.  SO GO FLIPPING DISCOVER IT.  I DARE YOU.

Start here to discover Permaculture
^watch some cool videos that will inspire! Remember: Free food!

Shaloha!